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I believe that my wife, Lady Grey, is at this establishment to get fitted, isn’t she?”“Oh, yes. You must be Sir Thomas?”“Indeed.”“Lady Grey is in the fitting room, Sir Thomas. Perhaps you wish to wait? May I offer you refreshments, a tea perhaps, or coffee?”“A coffee would be welcome, Mrs. Little. Bartleby?”Bartleby actually blushed. “Yes, Sir Thomas.”“If it’s not too much trouble, can you...”“But of course, Sir Thomas.” She clapped her hands resolutely and a maid in a well tailored uniform appeared. “Two cups of coffee, Bessy, and make’em strong. These are Navy gentlemen.”Thomas shook his head. “This is certainly a well run business, Mrs. Little. We just had to leave one of your competitors’ shops without a purchase due to the sheer incompetence of the keeper.”That seemed to fill the young woman with pride. “May I ask which competitor, Sir Thomas?”“Rankin’s Gentleman’s Attire, but he was not in presence.”“Oh, poor you! I take it you met his journeyman, Hollister. Perhaps we can be. She was probably thinking, ‘no shit, Sherlock,’ or maybe ‘gee, do yah think?’ Going that fast was scary, but I certainly didn’t want to criticize or complain about her driving. Who knows what she’d have done in response, but whatever happened I was sure it would hurt. And from my experience with Miss Frobisher, I guessed the pain would start with my balls. God knows where it would end, though. The first drop was yet to fall, but it was just a matter of time. Would she slow down for the rain? Or, Jesus H_, would she go faster just to moon Mother Nature? I could see the headlines in my mind: ‘Teacher and Student Killed in Stormy Accident.’ Or maybe, if we were lucky enough to have a few final minutes together: ‘Student & Teacher Found Killed, Hands in Each Other’s Crotches.’ Would they even print something like that in a family newspaper? I guessed not. I had to get a grip and not let my negative imagination run my mind. As I stared out the window wondering about who should or.
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